I was so naive to think that the lumps won't ever get any bigger.
I was so naive to think that it will never be something dangerous.
I was really naive.
Today, mum and I brought Leo to the vet to have a look at the lumps on his mouth.
Though the wait wasn't long, it felt like eternity.
"As from what I can see, it's black and irregular. So my guess is it's ..."
Um, cancer. I forgot the name of this cancer but what I can never forget is that it'll be a nasty one.
"We have to get rid of it immediately. This kind of cancer cells spread very quickly and it might get into the throat, or invade the lungs"
I couldn't control myself. And I cried.
I looked at Leo, how is it possible, that, our brave noisy little puppy get cancer?
"We will have to remove part of his lower jaw. Not just the lumps"
I thought cancer is just about removing the deadly cells.
I thought it'll be over with medication.
Will he survive?
Will surgery be too tormenting for him?
There were so many questions flooding into my head. I was so scared.
I am afraid to face the fact,
I am afraid to face the consequences after the surgery,
I am afraid to lose Leo.
"We have to do a check on him to see if he's fit enough to go through surgery. And even if he is, will you able to keep his wounds clean and keep it from infection? Are you able to feed him medication?"
The vet continued to type on her keyboard. My mind was in a blank. I don't know what to say, I don't know what to do.
Dr C looked at us, "Will you be able to do it?"
Leo's our baby, how is it possible that we see him suffer and let the lumps get bigger?
According to the vet, it'll get really painful. Leo won't be able to pick up food, things will get worse.
I looked at Dr C, "Yes, I think we'll be able to do it. We'll go ahead with surgery."
Today someone slapped me awake to reality.
Today I realised our baby is such a strong boy.
Today, death confronted me.
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